First up is ager_sanguinis, asking when did 'intellectual' become a bad thing? Short, not-so-sweet and very cleverly pointing out that generally speaking, it's a good thing to have someone smarter than you in charge of important things like, say, running a country.

Secondly, read copperwise's run-down of who is Joe Six Pack and Cindy Soccer Mom. Hint: it's probably not who the label makes you think.

Thirdly, women don't vote for Sarah Palin because we're jealous. Really. Possibly, hopefully meant to be tongue-in-cheek but incredibly poorly done, if that's the case.

Balancing that out is Salon's article on the Sarah Palin pity party and why it won't wash with women who have even an ounce of self-respect. We are not IDing with Sarah Palin as she becomes more incompetent. Instead, we're thinking "Oh man, STOP MAKING MY GENDER LOOK BAD." Read this article. I swear, if you only have time to read ONE of my links, read that one. Media meta about how the media treats candidates fascinates me and this article is full of links and smart commentary.

Finally, take a look at exactly how little Palin knows and what her debate strategy is. It has a flowchart! Everyone loves flow charts.

Got anything you think I should be reading? Link me! Just because I'm back in Europe doesn't mean I want to suddenly miss out on all the election drama, especially since I fully intend to vote in the November elections anyway.

U.S. Troops In Homeland “Crowd Control” Patrols From October 1st.

Soldiers get sent overseas to Iraq. Soldiers get dragged back to America for crowd control patrols.

I don't think this what people mean when they say that America should worry less about 'freedom' overseas and more about their own freedom.

There is absolutely no way that this can be allowed to happen. Write to your Representatives, your Senators, your Governors -- anyone! And spread this link around as much as you can. The more people that realize that we are actually being turned into a police state, the more outrage there'll be. And hopefully, the more likely it'll be that the Act which made this possible is repealed.

If you aren't sure what to say, you can send the following letter:

Dear [name here],

America is not a police state. America is a nation that was founded on freedom. To have military police roaming the streets of America to go against the very principles that make this country so great. We are not your enemy. We don't need to have our own soldiers deployed against us.

This cannot stand. We are using our right to dissent to tell you that this is not what we want for America. This is not what America deserves.

You were elected to serve us, not to control us. Repeal this Act.

Sincerely,

[name here]

Dear [name here], America is not a police state. America is a nation that was founded on freedom. To have military police roaming the streets of America to go against the very principles that make this country so great. We are not your enemy. We don't need to have our own soldiers deployed against us. <a href="http://current.com/items/89335495_u_s_troops_in_homeland_crowd_control_patrols_f%20rom_october_1st">This cannot stand</a>. We are using our right to dissent to tell you that this is not what we want for America. This is not what America deserves. You were elected to serve us, not to control us. Repeal this Act. Sincerely, [name here]

Copy/paste the letter from the textbox, and then find the e-mail address of your Representatives, Senators or Governors.

If you're overseas, or not American, the contact info for the White House is as follows:

comments@whitehouse.gov = general contact information
vice_president@whitehouse.gov = Dick Cheney

And if you feel like getting a personal reply or making it clear that there's a LOT of confusion about how something like this is even possible in the USA, try pasting the letter into this form.

While you're at it, ask Obama what he's planning to do about this. Ask McCain. Would they be in favor of this initiative? Would Palin? Would Biden? E-mail all of them. They're the ones who'll inherit this Act, after all.

a_white_rain's the one who linked me to the article on this. She'll have a website up soon using the same letter drafted above that'll let you submit the letter via a form and easily personalize it. Check out this link link to protest Congress. It uses the same letter that I wrote above!

In the meantime, PROTEST. E-mail, write, call, whatever. And tell everyone you can about this new way in which the President has seized more control than he should have.

YAY ICONS! I woke up one morning with inspiration for an icon set floating about in my head, then spent most of a day working on them. Cue a set of 85 '[name] is my hero' icons. XD The icons are of various characters/groups from DC, Marvel, Star Wars, Star Trek and Misc. Characters featured included members of the Batfamily, the Supes, X-Men, Teen Titans, Outsiders, Green Lanterns, Spidey-world and many more.

Samples:

001

002

003

004

Choose your hero/ine here at icon_d! And if you can think of a hero/ine that'd icon well (as in, has a very recognizable symbol), then go ahead and suggest it via comments. I'm thinking of making an Avatar set and maybe a Naruto set, with the village and element signs, though that'd obviously be more for groups than for individual chars, alas.

sickficfest is a comm that's centered around writing bad people doing very bad things.

Surely you can see why I'd be interested.

It's accepting prompts until the end of September, the prompts will be claimed during October and the actual fics will only be posted in February. How can I wait that long?!

If you don't have the time or patience to write, go submit prompts here anyway because I want to write and so far, there are only two fandoms that I could possibly write for. And I'm getting a little carried away with submitting prompts myself at the moment anyway.

Governor Palin has a Down's syndrome kid.

I know, I know, that doesn't seem like a reason for me to hate her. After all, I grew up with a handicapped sister, taught special ed kids, and am generally highly in favor of rights for disabled people.

But the thing is, Palin doesn't just have a Down's kid. She chose to have one. Early screening meant that she was warned that her baby had Down's syndrome but due to her stance on abortion, she decided to go ahead and have the child anyway.

STUPID. Stupid, stupid, stupid and selfish. So you're pro-life and refuse to abort this kid on principle? Congratulations, you've doomed him to a lifetime of suffering. A short lifetime, mind you, because most Down's kids have shorter lifespans and are highly susceptible to anything going around, but it's still pretty much a given that they're going to suffer for as long as they live. They won't be able to keep up with the other kids, they'll be developmentally stunted both physically and mentally and it's all your fault for having brought said kid into the world, knowing what he'd have to face.

In the class I taught, one girl called Sandy had Down's syndrome and about a month after I finished with her class, she died of pneumonia. Before that, she had to wear diapers all the time, and the aides had to take her into the bathroom to change her and wipe her ass, because she couldn't even manage that on her own. She couldn't talk normally, she was short and highly obese and even in the classroom full of special needs kids, she stuck out as even more hopeless than most. Sandy was 22 when she died, but she was about at the developmental stage of a 2-year-old, if that.

And this is the sort of child that Governor Palin thinks is a gift from God. This is the sort of life that she's going to cause the boy to lead, because she's too selfish to put aside her own views and think about what's honestly best for the child.

Apart from which, you know what? She has no business running for VP if she has a disabled kid.

Nobody with a disabled kid should be taking on a public office job that has a huge time commitment, because there's no way that they can do that and take care of their child at the same time. My parents both worked full-time, had a live-in nurse, a live-in maid and an older daughter who took care of herself (me), and even they worked themselves to the bone to take care of my sister. I refuse to believe that Palin can juggle four kids, a Down's syndrome kid, and the job of being VP all at once; there's no way she can manage it and still give her kids the attention they need, especially the disabled one.

Obama's choice of VP is 'meh', because for a guy who talks about CHANGE all the time, he went with a really traditional Old White Male choice.

McCain's choice? Thoroughly despicable. Even putting aside the anti-abortion, anti-contraception (wtf, has she never heard of AIDS?) issues, I have no respect for anyone who would deliberately bring a child into the world, knowing that child's life will be filled with nothing but suffering. No respect AT ALL.

Edit: If you want to know more about the political stances that Palin has, check out ilyena_sylph's post here where she lays out on the line all the reasons why no liberal female should think that Palin's likely to be on their side.

Link: Delta Makes Woman With Muscular Dystrophy Crawl Off Plane

"On July 20th, Julianna's (delayed) Delta flight landed in Atlanta at 7:30pm, with a connecting flight scheduled for 8:05pm. Julianna, who has muscular dystrophy, missed the connecting flight because nobody came with a wheelchair until 8:05—the same time the connecting flight took off. To make matters worse, the plane crew told Julianna she might make the flight anyway if she stopped waiting for help and got off the plane right now, so she crawled down the stairs on her own. When the wheelchair came she was "wheeled into a back room and advised" that her plane had taken off. But that was just the first half of her ordeal, and the next eight hours only got worse."

Delta can't be allowed to just brush her off with a meal voucher that she wasn't even able to use.

If you have a Yahoo account, Buzz it up. If enough people Buzz it, it might make front page news and put more pressure on Delta to compensate her adequately and change their policies so nothing like that happens again. If you have a Digg account, Digg it. The more negative publicity, the better the chances of Delta being shamed into acting.

And finally, spare a couple of seconds to go complain directly to Delta here. I know it looks intimidating because they're asking for all that RL info, but all they really need is a name and an e-mail address, if you checked the asterisk'd fields. In the comment box, link to the news article in question so that they'll know what you're talking about, then tell them exactly what you think of their behavior.

If anyone's got any further ideas on how to make the story more visible, drop me a comment. A public apology is the least of what they owe her, but it's something that can be achieved through the pressure of public opinion if enough of us actually put our outrage to good use and do something about this.

It's International Blog Against Racism Week. Exams are killing my free time at the moment, but I wanted to share a quick note from my Harlem Renaissance class.

Toni Morrison, while teaching a class my professor took, pointed out that a white author, when trying write from a PoC's pov, wrote, "My black skin glinted in the sunlight" and that no black person would actually look down at their skin and think that.

It took me a second to figure out what she was saying but you know, she's right. In the mornings, do you think "I have to brush my blonde hair" or "I must rub lotion into my pink skin"? Unless you've been reminded that you're Other because of your skin color, or you're sunburnt, you are very unlikely to use an adjective to describe its color.

Apart from which, black? Really? Who actually has black skin? Brown, yes. Dark, dark brown, yes. Ebony, sure. Actual matte black, to the point that you look at it and think with no irony or cultural labeling, 'black'?

Which of the following two sentences makes more sense to you?

My skin itches.

OR

My black skin itches.

Personally, the first rings a lot more like something I'd actually think and less like clumsy writing.

So! Quick, friendly tip to anyone out there thinking of writing a Character of Color: Don't constantly bring up their skin color for no reason except to prove it's a CoC.

It's great you're writing CoCs. It really is. Just be careful not to over-emphasize the physical differences in case it ends up sounding jarringly wrong.

And on a totally different note, basic accounts are back! The news post actually had some good news for a change.

cybernetic future, wires through her veins
she feels the pulse of information in place of emotion
emo poetry and pro-ana make her suck her cheeks in
she regards herself in the mirror and camwhores
camera in her eyes and the click of her eyelids
the perfect old-style camera covers

her smile is black and every tooth is lettered
her canine teeth are enter keys and her tongue
is made of cables braided together

she is the perfect girl for this digital world
she is a creation of her own self-loathing

humanity was never worth it
humans never deserved her

now she is unique

and tomorrow
there will be a million more like her
marching down the assembly line
demanding android rights

Contraception defined as abortion?!

What. The. Fuck.

Are they INSANE? What about all those countries all over the world that need American aid money, and women's clinics? What are they supposed to do, just hand out Pap smears and advocate pulling out? The global gag rule is bad enough. This? This is just beyond STUPID.

The world is already suffering from overpopulation. The last thing we need is more unwanted, unplanned-for babies.

Tell that to President Bush, and if you've got the cash to spare, make a donation to help Planned Parenthood fight it.

I am now 22.

The world is FILLED with awesome because now my age is the exact same no matter which way you look at it! (Yes, weird things make me happy, hush.)

Tonight, I'm seeing Hancock with my flatmates and two friends. I think my flatmates made me a cake, yay! And I have cards and presents to open, whoo hoo!

My 22nd birthday is coming up on the 10th of July, aka Thursday.

However, the 10th July is also going to be the six-month anniversary of my sister's death, so I'd prefer that all well-wishes, gifts, surprise phone calls, etc, are held off until the 11th.

Thanks.

(I know it seems kinda conceited to mention it, as if everyone knows when my birthday is and was planning something for it, but I just got reminded that livejournal sends out automatic notifications of birthdays, and I didn't want well-intentioned well-wishes to go to waste just because I crawl into my shell every 10th of every month.)

On a happier note, if you have absolutely no idea what I'd like, write me slash fic for Neal and Cameron from this episode of Cold Case. They only appear on that one ep, all the backstory of their lives is right there, and if you just watch that ep, you'll know everything about them necessary. Trigger warnings for mall massacre and attempted rape.

And on a non-triggery, very awesome note: TADA!



Most unintentionally gay icon ever. I blame Savior and all his talk of Lafayette slash.

There's a Heinz Deli Mayo man that has two men sharing a brief kiss on the lips for the sake of humor. I liked it. I thought it was funny. And today, I found out that it's been pulled off the air thanks to complaints from viewers. It was meant to run for five weeks but instead, they've stopped airing it after only one week.

It's a very tame ad. It has only that one kiss between the two men, and it's such a short kiss. A peck on the lips, really! (If you haven't seen the ad, click here.)

It's definitely nothing that I would worry about children seeing and for that matter, the ad wasn't even being aired on childrens' channels because "Heinz Deli Mayo falls foul of Ofcom's TV ad restrictions relating to products that are high in fat, salt and sugar". Nothing to do with the two guys and everything to do with the product in question being unhealthy.

So, with that in mind, I want all of you to stop whatever you're doing right now and give feedback the Heinz corporation now.

The ad got pulled because of consumer outcry. Heinz claims "It is our policy to listen to consumers." Let's put them to the test by telling them that we don't care if two guys kiss on TV, we think it's a good thing, and it's shameful that they bowed to pressure from homophobic consumers.

It's easy to write in and bitch about a product. Let's write in and praise this ad, and see if they're willing to put it back on the air.

Click here, fill the required forms and make your voice heard.

You don't need to write a huge manifesto. A simple statement will do. For example, "I believe it's wrong to bow to pressure from homophobes, and I approve of the Deli Mayo ad that was pulled. Please put it back on the air. If you value consumer concerns, you will listen to the positive responses to the ad as well as the negative and see how many people did not find anything offensive about the ad."

If you've got the guts and a little spare time, you can call them at the toll-free number 800.255.5750 or send a letter to Heinz Consumer Affairs, P.O. Box 57, Pittsburgh, PA 15230. Or maybe just send them a boys-kissing postcard with "BRING BACK OUR AD".

Heinz says that they listen, so let's make ourselves heard.

You mentioned you wanted Batman Beyond icons, so here's a bunch of them. Pick and choose whatever you like, credit to icon_d preferably, and keep being your utterly awesome self. And writing that addictive Terry/Ryuuji story because OHMYGOD am I ever in love with it. XD

( Some jobs are just too tough for Batman. That's when Terry McGinnis swings into action! )

Taken from ceresi -- and because I'm a freak, I chose different quotations for my lj, ij and dj, making a total of fifteen quotations I've chosen overall. XD

That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.

William J. H. Boetcker

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

Carrie Fisher (1956 - )

If they give you ruled paper, write the other way.

Juan Ramon Jiminez

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.

Albert Camus (1913 - 1960)

Or, at least, finals are. I turned everything in, parents are flying up on the 26th for commencement, and I am going to do my best to catch up with my flist again,

So, that said, FLIST, talk to me! We just had a crazy season ending for House. And Desperate Housewives sort of KILLED me. *pokes you all* I know you guys watch those shows, so talk to me about them! I'm cutting for spoilers, even.

( Desperate Housewives DESPERATELY needs to make sense, stat! )

( House M.D last, so you don't have to read the DH stuff if you don't want to. )

There's a meme opened up where you make gifts for random strangers or people on your flist. I think it's a fantastic idea. We just finished Sexual Assault Awareness month, had the mess with the Open Source Boobie Project and there's a feminism fiasco going on to do with WoC feeling marginalized, so something cheerful and positive is definitely a great idea from where I'm standing.

Currently, I have completed gifts for Dani and three total strangers.

Edit at Saturday, 9:10AM EST: Add in three more strangers and also, princessjessia.

Current total: 8 overall, 6 strangers, 2 friends.

I pretty much choose whom to give gifts for based off their username and if we have any shared fandoms. And I'll probably keep going until it maxes out on comments. If anyone reading this signed up as well, link me to your comment via a comment here and I'll throw something your way as well!

Anything you throw my way is ♥, pretty much. April was a grueling month and finals are coming up, and I am very easy to please.

the ☂APRIL☂ showers bring ✿MAY✿ flowers meme

Today's the National Day of Silence, a day of silent protest against the harassment and discrimination that GLBTs face. This year, they're mourning the death of an 8th-grader, Lawrence King, who was killed on the 12th February by a classmate.

As usual, I picked up a t-shirt and armband to wear, along with a few print-outs to hand out to people to explain why I won't be talking today. The funny thing is, the atmosphere on campus is almost identical to that when National Coming Out Day is approaching. Both of them involve the sale of t-shirts, both are centered around GLBT events, both usually have concerts or lunches attached, and both are specific to America as far as I know.

Being gay is often compared to being black, or belonging to disadvantaged racial group, and yet, shockingly enough, there's no day during which people come out as black or Latina or Asian. But at the same time, I can't think of any day that's specifically designated to combat racial discrimination.

It is Latina month here on campus but at the same time, it's Sexual Assault Awareness Month. I know that Wellesley campus isn't unaware of the latter because we have all the Take Back The Night ribbons strung up everywhere, so we're apparently hosting both months at the same time.

While I am all in favor of promoting cultural events, and definitely in favor of working against sexual assault, I think it's just a bit much to have both of them at the same time, especially when one is about pride and the other is about survival.

Does anyone else think that America might have too many 'months'? I don't remember Austria having so many specific holidays. We have our version of Halloween, we had Mother's Day, random Christian holidays, but that's about it. Sri Lankans celebrate their own culturally specific events such as New Year's in April, but again, we don't have a Buddhist Month or a Soldiers Killed In The Civil War Day.

I'm supporting National Day of Silence, obviously. Same for Sexual Assault Awareness Month. And if I knew what to do for Latina Month, I'd support that as well.

However, I am having difficulty remembering all the months and holidays. Unless I see flyers for them or are reminded online, it's too easy to have these dates slip my mind. And I know that some people on my flist feel the same, since I'm the one reminding them of National Coming Out Day and other such events.

Which holidays (apart from the obvious ones like Christmas, Easter, Halloween, your birthday, etc) do you remember? Apart from the months I've named, can you think of any? And for those of you who live outside America -- do you get special months allocated to causes, or is it just an American thing?

Last night, I was talking with an friend of mine about what her definition of rape is versus harassment is, and one of the things she brought up is how much she hates it when girls don’t say no or don’t protest clearly but then claim it was rape the next day.

So I thought that since it’s Sexual Assault Awareness Month, I’d write about a case in my life when I wanted to say no, didn’t manage to, but I really wish I had.

This was going to be an entry about how when I was seventeen, I once failed to say no/clearly show that I didn't want a guy sexually touching me. Then I reread the journal entries that I'd written at the time and realized that I hadn't ever said the actual word 'no', but I had signified discomfort in a lot of ways and tried to get away from him.

Here's an excerpt from one of the journal entries in question. ( Cut for possible triggers. Typoes left in for the sake of accuracy. )

Originally, I had remembered this as him touching my breast and me backing away from him. I hadn't remembered that I had fought back. I didn't remember that I kicked him, and I didn't remember that he continued with his advances afterwards.

That's not what's important here. The question is, why didn't I just say no instead of trying to physically get away from him and discourage him without having to actually talk about what was happening?

The answer's in the question itself. I didn't want to talk about what was happening.

Part of the Asian culture that I was raised in involves victim-blaming. If I had told him to stop it, I would've had to admit that he was doing something wrong, and then I would've had to examine my own behavior to see how I had caused it. If I kick him, leave the room, and then quit art class? I'm still not actually addressing the fact that hey, he's touching me, he's doing things to my body that I don't want, he is behaving like a jerk.

The next day, I had my boyfriend come into the classroom with me and sit with me. While my boyfriend was in the room, the 'friend' slid his hand onto my thigh (I was wearing shorts) and tried to feel me up.

I didn't tell my boyfriend what was happening. I just stood up.

And then I quit art.

I couldn't tell my parents why because they would've blamed me. I was the one who had chosen to take special after-school lessons, and my mother honestly believes that short skirts cause rape. My mother was rubbed up against by a guy on a bus for the entire ride home when she was a teenager, and she remained absolutely quiet and made no fuss until she got home, and then she started crying.

The Sri Lankan culture does not hold with 'making scenes'. I couldn't tell him no, because then I'd have to acknowledge what was happening. I'd have to make a scene. And that's simply not done. Even though I grew up in Europe, I still grew up inside a Sri Lankan household where if a man is taking liberties with you, it's because you've somehow signified you're open to them.

Who knows? Maybe I didn't kick him hard enough. Maybe I should've kicked him in the balls to show that I meant no.

Or maybe I should've just swallowed down a lifetime of being told to be a good, quiet little Asian who doesn't make waves and called him on it.

I was too scared to. Apart from my indoctrination into silence, I didn't know what would happen next. What if he denied anything was happening? What if he told everyone else that I'd accused him of molesting me and then laughed at the idea that he'd do anything like that with me? What if my parents found out about it?

So I kicked him, I pushed him away, I brought my boyfriend to show him that I was taken and not interested, and finally, when none of that worked, I quit art class.

But I never actually voiced the word 'no', or faced up to what was happening to me.

Strange as it may seem to some of the Western readers on my flist, I'm using this post to promote Sexual Assault Awareness concerning yourself.

It is YOUR body. You have a right to decide what other people do with it. If someone is making you uncomfortable, tell them 'Stop'. They are the ones in the wrong, not you. Facing that something bad is happening to you is infinitely preferable to trying to dodge around it, because as long as you can't stand your ground, they're going to keep pushing until they've backed you into a corner.

The last time someone groped me, I yelled at them to 'FUCK OFF OR I'LL BREAK YOUR HAND'. The man in question quickly sloped away.

No matter how shy you might be, how uncertain and scared, or how tied to a culture that keeps you very firmly passive, your body is still yours. And you are never the bad guy for telling someone that what they're doing to you is wrong. Never.

Heard of the Open Source Boobie Project?

If you haven't, you should probably know straight off the bat that the name's a misnomer. Open Source has nothing to do with this because breasts are not publicly shareable bits of property. Breasts belong to the person they are attached to. They do not belong to anyone else -- not the doctor, not the plastic surgeon, not the boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other of the moment and not the hungry baby. My breasts, my uterus, my vagina, my body.

And if you try to act otherwise, I will most likely oppose your viewpoint either firmly or violently depending on your level of stupidity.

That said, what exactly am I so snarly about this? Multiple reasons.

1. For a moment, everything that was awkward about high school would fade away and you could just say what was on your mind. It was as though parts of me were being healed whenever I did it, and I touched at least fifteen sets of boobs at Penguicon. It never got old, surprisingly. Women are not responsible for your sexual healing. If you had a hard time picking up girls in high school or getting to touch their breasts, dressing up wanting to touch a lot of breasts at a con as 'sexual healing' does not make it look less sleazy. Like someone else said, my breasts do not have magical healing powers.
   
   
2. Like brown_betty said, "apparently there is a deeply felt conviction among some subset of men that the problem with today's society is that they do not have enough access to women's bodies."
   
   Of all the things that are wrong with society, I really don't think that's one of them.
   
   ( Four more reasons under the cut. )
   
   More reactions, many much more articulate, can be found here.

It's storming here beautifully. I was sleeping and the crash of thunder woke up me, dragged me out of bed to press my nose against the window mesh. I've got both windows thrown open to their utmost and I'm waiting, waiting, waiting for night to fall so that I can see the lightning crash against a dark sky instead of the pale yellow-grey that the sky is now.

It makes me miss Sri Lanka. No country has storms like Sri Lanka does, especially during the monsoon season.

It's cold here in Wellesley, but the storm makes me want to put on a reddha (basically a piece of cloth wrapped around your body, kind of like a tube dress but casual and made of cotton) and dance under the rain.

You can do that in Sri Lanka. I did that at my grandmother's house for the first time. My mother and I both wore reddhas -- it wouldn't have been as much fun in a t-shirt and shorts -- and went out into the garden. The dirt is red in Sri Lanka. It's not brown like Vienna or Wellesley but red, like cinnamon powdered into the earth itself. When the rain came, it made the mud terracotta red-brown as well and I stomped my feet against the ground and watched it splash up and cling to my ankles.

I whirled in circles under the rain. Again and again and again and I remember how the rain felt. I was only seven, but I remember the sheer joy of being out there in a storm and being warm and drenched and laughing. My mother danced with me and my grandmother watched.

Then the jugguru-jugguru driver came and my mother ran shrieking inside the house, embarrassed to be seen in a garment that clung to her so. I stayed outside and talked to the driver because I love riding in jugguru-jugguru's. My mother hates them but every trip to Sri Lanka, I insist on being allowed to ride in them at least once. There's no air conditioning, the roadside dirt can hit you so easily, the drivers take crazy risks and my mother once saw one get hit by a van and bowled completely over but... They're part of what makes Sri Lanka Sri Lanka to me. That, and the way that the air smells different to Boston and Vienna.

Boston and Vienna both smell the same unless you head down to the seaside in Boston. Sri Lanka's different. It's hot, it's humid and people burn fires in their backyards. Or front yards. The smoke fills the air and the cows and cats and dogs wander the streets freely. Whenever I step out of the airport, one of the first things that hits me about Sri Lanka -- after the heat -- is the smell. My nose adjusts quickly and I forget it within a few hours but the first physical shock of the air being different is one of those things that makes me know I'm in Sri Lanka now.

There are a lot of things that drive me crazy about Sri Lanka but the air smells different, the dirt is red and you can dance in the rain.

Taken from a_white_rain.

Originated by dsudis.

So I was adding some new interests to my LJ profile (because I, uh... have some new interests. Yes.) and found myself feeling defensive every time I typed a female name, thinking, basically, FUCK YOU, SHE'S AWESOME, because I felt as if someone somewhere was going to be criticizing my love for them.

So, anyway, then I made a list of women who make me want to say FUCK YOU, SHE'S AWESOME. They are far from the only women who are awesome, or the only women people need to be told to step off of, but they are the top ten I feel that way about, right now, off the top of my head.

If you want to argue with me about the awesomeness of any of these women, I am afraid I will simply be referring you to the subject line. THAT IS ALL.

1) Rachel from Animorphs
2) War from Good Omens
3) Granny Weatherwax, Discworld
4) Shirley Schmidt from Boston Legal
5) Mai Kujaku, Yuugiou
6) Hayley from Stick It
7) Mulan from Mulan
8) Stephanie Brown from Batman comics
9) Lilly Rush from Cold Case
10) Dr. Cuddy from Houses

I've actually ordered them in the order that I'd like to be them. Rachel is my top pick. I know how she died, I know what she had to do before she died but gods, I love her. She had so much fierceness in her; passion and anger and courage, all wrapped up tightly inside her skin. And when she died, she was missed.

Of all the women on that list, Rachel's skin is the one that I want to wear the most.

Life and death and love and all, I want to be her.

I just accidentally checked my Bulk mail which I NEVER do and saw that all 7 messages there were lj comments!

If you guys have been replying to my comments/posts recently and not getting responses, now you know why. Link me to anything you desperately need an answer on! *going through her own posts for the last two months to check on them*

Apart from that, anyone got songs or stuff they associate with Reid or Garcia from Criminal Minds? I'm trying to make icons and keep getting stuck for lack of fandom-y knowledge and inability to dig up interesting stuff from wiki.

Also, I'm going to be writing a paper on self-harm for my Medical Ethics class. Might have questions up about it later for you guys but promise to lj-cut them if I do so as not to trigger anyone. I just thought you deserved a heads-up.

Link of the Day: The Bunnyocalpyse! Bunny Peeps die in a variety of disturbing ways. My personal favorite? The assassin.

Today, I have to give a speech on cannibalism for my Medieval Food & Drink class.

I'm bringing them little gingerbread men to eat as a snack.

In Domino, there's a shade of blue known as Kaiba blue. It's popular for bedrooms and the trim on hats for schoolgirls. Soon, it turns into the blue of the uniform skirts and jackets.

They call it Kaiba blue even when nobody remembers who the Kaibas were; like Prussia, they are a thing of the past and history books.

Their name is remembered for the wrong reasons. There is no longer any awe attached to it.

Now that I've got THAT out of my system, sorry for everyone who's been wondering why I've been MIA lately. Willow aka witchwillow and Zoe aka tes_aiden came over to crash with me and I was busy having SO MUCH FUN with them that I totally stayed offline!

( More details. )

Also, PHOTOS will later be up. Both photos from the con, and photos of the combined coolness that is the FWZ triad.

Why?

Basic accounts can no longer be created.

In other words, you either have to face ads or you get a Paid account. Want to know what makes this worse?

They didn't announce it publicly. The only hint of it is in a comment to the news post.

Basically, that means that I am OUT of el-jay RPing unless I recycle an old journal because I sure as hell refuse to create a Plus account when it fucks over everything so much and when they PROMISED it would never happen.

iJay's got ads, yeah, but at least they're honest about it. This was x-posted from my iJay (fickle), which is a Permanent Account. I don't usually x-post but in this case, I definitely consider it worth it.

Seb (ryuutchi) came over last, last Sunday night after Intercon to hang out with me! Below the cut are photos of my room, which ohsnikt has been asking for for a while, my Green Lantern ring that she gave me, the evil things we did to the fridge in the common room, my standard 3-times-a-day meal, a seal cookie originally bought for pikachumaniac and assorted stuff.

And, of course, the obligatory pool shot.

( Place your bets which way the head will roll. )

I've got witchwillow and tes_aidan's vists to look forwards to as well, so expect more photos later!

Happy birthday, abrandnewboom. I don't know HOW long you've had that new journal but I still started to type in your old journal name when I wrote that. XD May the new year be utterly awesome and filled with joy. And gay musicians.

In other equally-awesome news:

HAPPY INTERATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY!


To celebrate, I'm writing drabbles for upto three female chars you pick. Any fandom that I usually write! Feel free to repost and share the squeeing over girl chars, if you want, but don't feel obligated to do so.

If you can't think of any fandoms I heart, try Animorphs, Archie Comics, Batman/DC*, Batman Beyond, Big Wolf on Campus, Boston Legal, Bruno and Boots, Chrestomanci, Cold Case, Discworld, Fables, Good Omens, Gravitation, Greek Mythology, Gundam Wing, Harry Potter, Hercules (Disney), Legally Blonde, Mighty Ducks, Mulan (Disney), Othello (the manga), Petshop of Horrors, Pokemon, Sailor Moon season R, Smallville, Spiderman, Stick It, Sweet Valley, The Authority, Utena Revolutionary Girl, Yu-Gi-Oh.

Femmeslash pairings are TOTALLY okay to request. So's het, but be warned that the focus will be on the female character, not on their relationship. ♥ If you want a fandom I haven't listed there but you know I like, go for it!

a_white_rain: Pointless fandom memes!

I'm going to start with the one that I just took from her. XD

Name a character I write and I'll tell you how s/he lost her/his virginity.

shantih: I'd like to hear about novels you're reading that you really enjoy. Some of the things I've read recently that I enjoyed most I would never have known existed if not for random recs from my f-list.

Whenever college gets tough, my reading habits change. I stop reading novels and instead pick up collections of short stories because it's easier to get through single stories while having dinner or waiting in line than a full novel. So this list of the latest 5 books I've read is weighed towards the short and amusing.

( Weddings, Cyberspace, Shiny Love, Fantasy & Sci-fi. )

About two years ago, I ended up friends with greyhawk. It was a strange friendship, entered into a little warily because we're at opposite sides of the political spectrum on practically every issue. He's a small-c conservative and I'm a liberal, fairly far to the left but we managed to have a reasonable conversation about politics, and became lj-friends.

Why am I bringing it up now?

I've noticed that this election isn't affecting my circle of friends and myself by polarizing us against Republicans. Instead, we're being polarized against each other.

If you're for Obama, you're for Obama. Hook, line and sinker. You can't take any criticism of him, and you defend every mistake he makes.

If you're for Hillary, you're for Hillary. Hook, line and sinker. You can't take any criticism of her, and you defend every mistake she makes.

I have friends whom agree with me on pretty much every political point. We're all pro-choice, anti-death penalty, pro-gay marriage. But when it comes to the Obama versus Hillary split, it's shut-up-and-don't-talk-about-it.

I have friends who will toss me links to YouTube videos of Obama's ads, but shut me down if I bring up the fact that I support Hillary.

So my question is, how did this happen? When did it get to the point that it's easier to talk politics calmly with conservatives than with people who actually support my stances?

I'm not a fan of Obama because personally, I think his foreign policies suck. He tried to act tough when he said that he'd be willing to order strikes against Pakistan, and he's made no mention of working with the UN. That doesn't mean that I'm not pleased with his record on abortion rights, to take one example. It just means that I don't want to vote for him, and that I don't think he'd make a good President.

It doesn't mean that I'm incapable of having a calm, rational discussion about the candidates and their relative merits/flaws.

On The Issues is THE best source I know for researching the stances of the candidates on different issues. Go check it out.

Everyone has things they blog about. Everyone has things they don't blog about. Challenge me out of my comfort zone by telling me something I don't blog about, but you'd like to hear about, and I'll write a post about it. Ask for anything: latest movie watched, last book read, political leanings, thoughts on yaoi, favorite type of underwear, graphic techniques, etc. Repost in your own journal so that we can all learn more about each other!

You guys can skip the last bit if you don't want to repost. I'm mostly trying to get this journal to a point where I'm back to talking to about things other than my sister being dead. If you're having problems thinking up things I don't talk about, look at your journals and compare them to mine and tell me to write about something you write about that I don't.

My sister's been dead two months.

I've been waiting for this day. Counting to it. It's been worse this week, the one that was just over. Everything sharp and pointing towards Sunday.

After last month, it was 'my sister's been dead one month and something days'. Somewhere in there, it switched to 'my sister will have been dead for two months three weeks from now. Two weeks and five days from now.'

The last few days dragged out. The hours stretched so much that I couldn't understand it. Everything in me was so focused on today. Four days left. Three. Two. One.

Midnight.

I know that's not how it works. My sister died in Austria. Different timezone. Not sure when the exact time of death is. Not sure I should know, because having rearranged my calender that everything revolves around the tenth of each month is unhealthy enough already.

My boyfriend (ex-boyfriend now, I suppose) broke up with me on the 1st, which was our one-year anniversary. Because he said the last straw was me forgetting our one-year anniversary. I didn't forget it. I just didn't care.

In my head, it was 'in nine days, my sister will have been dead two months'.

Now it's two months.

Breathing is a little difficult right now. It's in my head, I know. This is not all that easy an entry to write.

I've been told that I haven't been talking much about myself. Or updating livejournal. I've done a lot, though. Switched my class schedule around three times. Signed up for Sweet Charity, am now doing icons and cookies. Voted for Hillary. Started watching Dexter. Helped an old woman up off the ice and took care of her. Built a snow throne with snow footstool. Taught Lily to make snow angels. Saw hail for the first time. Co-hosted a dinner party. Learned how to make chili Bolognese sauce. Talked to the Dean. Agreed to sign a one-year contract for the Nuclear Power Engineering Section of the IAEA/UN when I graduate. Got my CPR/First Aid certificate. Developed the habit of wearing leggings under sweatpants to stay warm. Bought padded envelopes to send off Xmas gifts that I'd purchased before I went --

I typed home, then backspaced and typed 'back to Vienna', then backspaced and typed home. Backspaced is accepted as a verb by Mozilla Firefox's spellchecker. Spellchecker, however, gets underlined in red.

None of it seems important, though.

My sister's been dead two months.

Nothing that I do, or will do, can change that.

None of it feels important enough to talk about, and I can't talk about my sister.

Not really. Except in controlled doses. Like now.

Two months.

I still don't have an appropriate icon.

My sister's been dead a day.

A year.

A month.

The first two are mistakes. It's only been a month. But I didn't want to backspace 'day', so I started a new line for 'month'. And then it turned into 'year'.

This icon used to be black with a white dashed border. Then I made it into a pure square of cornflower blue as part of an injoke. I could have just uploaded this one in addition to the black one, but I wanted to replace the black one with this block of color instead. It's still an icon of sorrow and pain and grief and loss and the sort of empty blackness that seems so final.

But it's cornflower blue now.

My mourning for my sister is cornflower blue now.

I'd been thinking of doing some big memorial entry with photos of her and anecdotes, an explanation of how we found out she was disabled and what it felt like to watch her deteriorate during the last few years of her life. But I don't think I can. Not yet (but I will, because she needs to have been seen by more than just the people that visited our home and I need catharsis).

It's been a month.

My sister died on the 10th December.

My birthday is on the 10th July. That means my birthday is the eight-month anniversary of her death. Kathy's birthday is the 10 month anniversary of her death.

Neko's sister has a birthday on the 10th as well. The irony kills me, for lack of a better phrase.

I am possibly not doing all that well. It doesn't hurt, most of the time. It feels unreal.

My sister is dead

My, the possessive. Sister, the relationship to me. Is, a statement of fact. Dead, a state of being.

My sister is dead.

Saying that leaves me numb. Typing it is difficult to do within conversations to other people, easy to do within journal entries. I never use her real name in my head. I never say "Ranila is dead". I never even say "Nangi is dead", Nangi being what I called her.

Nangi means little sister in Sinhala. The first time that week she went into cardiac arrest, the female doctor noticed everyone was calling her Nangi (everyone always called her Nangi, even though she was my little sister, everyone called her that or "Baby") and asked if that was my sister's name and how old she was. My mother said no, and explained what it meant, and said my sister was only 18. That was barely two years younger than the doctor.

The next time she went into cardiac arrest and the ambulance team arrived, the same female doctor was with them. My mother says that while she worked on my sister, she called her "Nangi" over and over again.

My sister was admitted to the hospital with her hair in messy braids. In the morning, when my parents were allowed into the room where she was, her braids were tidy again. The nurse on duty was my age, and had tidied up my sister's hair.

It's little moments of grace like that which make me tear up and try not to cry. Thinking 'my sister is dead' does nothing. Actually picturing her face, picturing her smile and the way she used to start to smile even before I finished singing a certain song because she knew I'd always kiss her at the end -- that makes me hold my breath without knowing it. I always hold my breath when I know something is going to hurt; it's a reflex by now.

I can't look at photos of her. Seeing all her possessions packed up to give to the orphans made me run up the stairs and into my temporary room and slam the door shut.

Nangi. Nangi Nangi Nangi Nangi.

There's a running joke in Discworld that people always think that the heart is more to the left than it really is. Thinking of her makes my heart hurt so badly that I know exactly where to stab.

Nangi.

I breathe, I live, I continue. On Thursday, it will be the one month anniversary of her death.

Breathing hurts.

Year divisions might be arbitrary but whatever, this is a fresh year. So far, I have:

• argued with my parents about whether dragging me to a dharna would be encroaching on my religious freedom. I won and therefore, they went with the maid and I have the house all to myself.
  
• been reminded that I have friends who love me and miss me.
  
• heard that New Zealand has beaches with black sand that I MUST visit
  
• been tempted to join that group of people who write fic for music videos. I kid you not, they're out there and they're prolific.
  
• found out I will need 3,315,000 NP in my bank account to get 1K of NP per day in interest.
  
• read Jason training Damian fic.
  
• listened to a song from Legally Blonde: The Musical on repeat.
  
• reaffirmed my commitment to living.
  
• made a ( New Year's Resoluion. )
  
  
  • found out that ego_chan wrote a third chapter of her Terry/Ryuuji fic, read it and squealed.
    
  • discovered via ceresi that Pretty Woman Bird House EXCEEDED its goal for donations.
    
    This year is off to an awesome start. ♥